I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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