So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got inside last night via doggy door
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
