i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Randomize
