would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will be naked everywhere
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
