My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
