dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
