You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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