Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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