Me. At least after what I've been through.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
