Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
