you have to choose: penises or morals?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize