Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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