honey bunches of taint.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
