Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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