where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize