Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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