I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
