If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
