Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
