Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
