Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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