trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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