maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if only i could text you this smell
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
