This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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