Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
