maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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