I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
