Your mouth is God's brothel.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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