you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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