R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
