no. you can't hotbox the world.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
where are you?
Hypothermia
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
