My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
