I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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