im drinking this country out of the recession.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
