so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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