The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You're like the curious george of whores
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
