i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
