so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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