Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
