i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
