True but thats because hes a fetus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
