Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize