TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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