The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
