Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
