You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
