it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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