Cold hands, warm shart.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
