No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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