CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
