What did we do last night that was yellow?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
