Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
